To vaccinate or not to vaccinate?
Two days ago I got my first COVID-19 Pfzier vaccine shot in NYC. It was not an easy decision.
For the past five months I had been living at spiritual communities in Costa Rica and Nicaragua where the nearly unanimous consensus on the vaccine is that it is part of a larger conspiracy that, regardless of the subplot, is here to harm humanity.
I have oscillated on all sides of the issues, at the end of the day often finding myself with one foot in both camps: mainstream science and alternative holistic health theories. In conversation I would do my best to synthesize what I perceived to be the best of both approaches while illuminating the shadows that each side is often blinded to.
My stance for a while was that I’ll probably end up getting the vaccine, but I want to wait as long as possible until I’m essentially forced to.
So why did I end up getting it in April only two weeks after returning to the United States?
I have the great blessing and privilege of being in very good health. No pre-existing conditions, healthy plant-based diet, ample exercise. So I knew there was a very high probability that my body would be fine were I to get COVID. Or the vaccine. Either way, my personal health and wellbeing was largely a non-issue.
So I turned my attention to what would best serve the collective. What would be the best move for humanity? That, it turns out, is a rather complicated question.
In the New Age movement in which I’ve been deeply embedded, I was often surprised by what I perceived to be a level of narcissism surrounding COVID and science in general. The conversations I had with people would often begin and end at the very same place: what’s best for MY body, for MY health, for MY emotions, for MY identity. There was often little discussion about what would help reduce the greatest amount of suffering for the collective as a whole. And when the collective did come up, it was often with spite and belittlement, a sense that “the masses” are drowning in their own ignorance and yanking down the enlightened ones in the process.
As a student of developmental psychology, I observe our cultural context from a different perspective, mainly that people are at varying levels of development, and that each of these levels are seeing the world through a very specific lens while being largely unable to understand one another’s perspectives, leading to cultural clashes and conspiracies galore.
Instead of considering that Bill Gates is largely operating from a materialist, scientific paradigm that sees technology as a silver bullet to world problems, many New Agers assume he must be in collusion with aliens to implant tracking devices in our arms, because why else would someone support mass vaccinations? Instead of seeing that most Q-Anon supporters are largely operating from a premodern traditionalist worldview that conforms to mythic stories at the expense of any and all facts, New Agers far too often see them as noble rebels leading the consciousness revolution. This is known as the pre/trans fallacy.
Here’s one frame I’m using to see the bigger picture:
Those operating from a mythic, traditionalist worldview (Stage Blue) believe in some form of afterlife, and therefore the fear of physical death is not only solely in God’s hands but is also not the end all be all, as it is for the materialists (Stage Orange). If we simply follows the rules (often determined by a religious or authority figure) then God will grant us salvation. This is perfectly demonstrated by the following two quotes from this NYTimes article:
“There’s a time appointed for every person to die,” said Reuben Smucker, a Mennonite pastor in Greeneville who works as a garage-door installer. “We should take care of our bodies physically, emotionally and spiritually, but if it’s my time to go and it’s by Covid, well then, it’s my time to go.”
After Mr. Cross, an elder in a Seventh Day Adventist Church, counsels Covid patients, he prays with them. “That’s the most important thing,” he said. “Because it’s God who does the healing.”
The overwhelming majority of humans in the Western World are operating from the scientific, materialist paradigm (Stage Orange) that view life as something happening solely on the physical realm. Once we die, that’s it. We’re gone. This naturally causes a very real and intense fear of death, which creates a necessity for technologies like vaccines to alleviate that fear. Most of our institutions, government leaders, corporate executives, health officials and journalists are operating from a primarily Stage Orange worldview.
Those who are exiting the scientific paradigm and entering a new stage of consciousness (Stage Green) are like a pendulum swinging drastically in the opposite direction, like a teenager leaving the conformity of their parents and sometimes rebelling against the perceived domination of mainstream culture. Science is often viewed with extreme suspicion. Rationality and intellect are given a backseat to intuition and emotions. Western medicine is often perceived as abusive and invasive. Distrust of “the system” and “the elites” (aka Stage Orange) is to be expected.
Each of these three worldviews have vastly different perspectives on COVID-19. And at the center of the madness lies the greatest hot button issue of our time: vaccinations.
So where do I land? Which camp do I join? Which team do I “fight” for?
I’ve found a Home in taking on the sacred, soul-driven role of defending the opposite perspective of whatever group I’m conversing with. When speaking with my Stage Green friends, I offer perspectives from mainstream medicine in a language and tone that I hope feels more digestible than how it’s conventionally delivered, which often only triggers and further engrains the counter ideology.
When speaking with my materialist-oriented Stage Orange friends and family, I offer a more spiritual take and try to go meta, showing the larger trends playing out and inviting them into facing their fears head-on, encouraging them to use this moment to turn inwards and self-reflect.
My soul purpose, it seems, is to be the grey in a world of black and white. To be the gravity that keeps the pendulum from swinging too far in either direction. Staying grounded, open, curious and careful.
So, the question remains, why did I choose to get the vaccine?
I will answer this in three parts: Mind, Body, Soul.
Mind: The majority of humans in my country are not ready to evolve past their materialist worldviews. COVID, I believe, has been a great accelerator, but evolution is slow and takes time. Our entire society is not going to shift overnight. The vaccine is here, and it’s here to stay. I don’t want to hide out in the jungles of Costa Rica with my hippie friends for the rest of my life. I want to be free. And in our Western society, that appears to mean getting the vaccine and being able to participate in the world around me again.
My hope is that being one small part in the mass wave of vaccinations currently taking place will help to create a feeling of safety in the collective that will allow children to play together again, will allow the elderly to be hugged again, will allow travel and commerce to resume so that the deadly psychological impacts from the lockdowns can begin to be lifted. I feel called to be a part of the collective that helps “take one for the team” so that we can all begin again in this new world that we’re actively co-creating together.
In short, as much as the spiritual part of me would like everyone to magically evolve into holistic health advocates that overcome their fear of death, I know that’s not going to happen overnight. But what will happen overnight is more COVID deaths, more suicides and trauma from the lockdowns, more economic impacts, and more diseases of despair. The vaccine, it appears, can and will help to ease all of that.
Body: The physiological impacts of the vaccine (like COVID itself) are mostly unknown at this point, particularly long-term. That is certainly a concern. Worst case scenario, 70% of the world population becomes infertile, including myself. From another perspective, perhaps that’s not the worst case scenario. Maybe the Universe created this situation as part of a global reset to save humanity from ourselves. It’s clear that our species is on an unsustainable path. Perhaps COVID and the vaccinations resulting from it are part of a larger intelligence at play. Honestly, who knows? My point is, even the worst case scenario, from a meta perspective, is not really a worst case scenario.
To all my spiritual friends who are panicking, my message is this: have some faith. If you’re spiritual, trust that Spirit is guiding you (and the rest of us). It’s going to be okay, even if we die. In that sense, I guess the Traditionalists are on to something after all…
If you are experiencing COVID and/or vaccine side effects, take care of your body to the best of your ability. Trust your intuition. And your brain. Get the opinions and expertise of both holistic and mainstream health practitioners. Our bodies are incredible and can be extraordinary resilient. Trust that whatever adverse impacts are experienced are ultimately here to heal us in some way, whether physically, emotionally, spiritually or all of the above. Use any health impacts that you experience as an invitation to grow, evolve and discover more about ourselves and our world. Everything in life is an opportunity to learn, even and especially the painful stuff.
And importantly, remember that our ego (fear) is creating just as much pain as any physical effects we may be feeling, if not more. This includes the exorbitant amount of fear driven by conspiracies being broadcasted by self-proclaimed holistic health experts and meditation gurus. At the end of the day, is that fear really any different from the mainstream media’s fear? Or is fear just fear?
Soul: Ultimately, I decided to get the vaccine because my soul intuitively told me that this is what the Universe is asking of me. Who knows why. Perhaps this is part of a larger chapter of reintegrating into society after years of living off-the-grid. Perhaps so I can travel while reducing the chances of being “that guy” who spreads COVID to hundreds of people resulting in the deaths of strangers whom I will never know. Perhaps so I can write these very words, which may or may not help somebody else on their own journey. Or maybe so I can continue to have one foot in both worlds, doing my best to understand the complexity, nuances and ever-evolving factors arising from the various clashing worldviews that are shaping this present moment.
I don’t know why my soul nudged me to get the vaccine, but I do know that it feels in my body like the right decision, not for the sake of my own physical health, but because I listened to that voice in me that is wiser, more discerning and more loving than my fears and doubts. That voice, which I call Soul (but could also be called Spirit, God, Gai, Universe, etc) is ultimately the only voice I can fully stand by. I do so recognizing that most people are not consciously in touch with that voice, or perhaps its whispers are too soft to be heard amongst the noise of cable TV and social media whiplash. So I listen to my whisper knowing that my medicine is not what is right for everyone because each of us are at a unique place in our journey. It’s up to us as sovereign beings to do what’s best for not just ourselves but also the collective with which we’re infinitely and intimately interconnected.
How that looks will be very different for each of us.
For me, it looked like getting the vaccine. Cheers to all the lessons that the Universe has in store for me, and for us, as we continue to dance together in This Present Moment.
Lots of love.
